Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Eye for Detail

So, there have been a lot of questions and speculation about my eye surgery. I think I addressed most of 'em in a Message board conversation I had shortly afterwards. Basically there's a play by play. Though there was more to the thread, this is all intact, nothing's been edited. Not that it's terribly controversial subject matter anyway, but just so you know. There was stuff before and after this part, but nothing during. The stuff before was mainly, "Hey, I'm going to have/I just had surgery..." and the stuff after was largely jokes about the Super Powers I gained during the operation. Nothing's out of context. Whatever. Just read it.
(Sheesh. You'd think it was transcripts from the Watergate Tapes.)

Seppuku Squirrels:
You've got guts Vrocky one. I've considered laser scalpels on the eyes and it just freaks me out. I couldn't make it if they "slip" and one or both of my eyes got worse. How long do you have to be away from the PC? I work online all day and also can't afford to miss time from work. No PC usage would mean having to stay home. :
Good mojo in your direction! You never know, lasers in, maybe you'll get lasers out.


Rob Noxious:
It's only the morning after and I already see better than I did with my glasses. And it's only suppossed to get better from here.

I am, thus far, unable to shoot lazer beams back out of my eye, however. Also, there seemed to be few, if any, radioactive spiders in the room.

Maybe next time.

Squirrely, with the technology at the point it is now, it would probably take an earthquake to make the lazers "slip," and even then, I'm sure they have an auto-shut off. Do your research, find a Doctor with experience who upgrades his equipment regularly. The super cheap places you see in the paper all have used equipment. The technology is advancing rapidly, and is being fine-tuned all of the time. I think there's very little left to chance when you finally get down to the procedure, most of the human element is in the measuring and setting, which my Doctor did several times over.

And you'll miss one day of work. That's it.

Go find a good Doctor, take one of the free qualification exams and talk to them about it.

The "Clockwork Orange" part is over fairly quickly.

Seppuku Squirrels:
So how did they do it? Do they put a suction cup over your eyeball and yank it out and shave off the end or what? You mentioned "eye" not "eyes". Are you doing one at a time or are they both done?

So asks the inquiring.


Rob Noxious:
Quote:You mentioned "eye" not "eyes". Are you doing one at a time or are they both done?

Typo. They did both.

You go in, they test you and measure you, repeatedly, (Measure twice, cut once) on a couple of different machines. Some are the familair "Worse or better" eye tests, some are this weird thing where you stare at a red dot and it takes a picture of the shape of your eye.

The main laser machine uses this to track the shape and geometry of your eye while it does its thing.

Then they put in drops that dialate your eye and do it all over again. (The dialated eye thing is really annoying, but it wears off after a couple of hours.)

This is all preliminary, and must happen with in seven days of the actual surgery.

Surgery day, you go in, they give you a Valium so you don't get all jumpy, he explains what's going to happen, "You'll feel pressure, then I'll do this, then there'll be that..." The explanation takes as long as the surgery.

Then they strap your eyelid open, (ala Clockwork Orange, I actually started singing "Singing in the Rain," but, then again, I'm a huge smartass.) you hear a clicking, then they do the other eye.

I guess everyone is different, but when I got up from the chair my vision was still extremely blurry, but better than without my glasses before, but still not, say, good enough to drive. The Doc told me there would be a sharp increase in vision the following morning. That day/night my vision steadily improved, I went to bed late last night, woke up this morning and Boo-yah! I can see just freeakin' fine!

I had a follow up this morning at 9AM. (I showed up in Pajamas and a robe. The Doctor laughed his ass off.)

There may be a jump tomorrow, as well, I'm told. And it should increase some over the next few weeks/months as the eyes fully heal.

I have drops I put in for the next four days, and I wear these goggles at night to keep me from inadvertantly rubbing my eyes or anything. (Which is strictly verboten in any event.) I've also been strictly told not to get in any Mosh Pits for ten days. (And even then, protect the eyes.)

Anyway, almost everyone can return to work the next day.

I've had corrective eye wear for 29 years, since second grade. I keep reaching for my glasses, it's weird. But it's sooooo freaking cool.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find out what it's like to shave with out having to worry about my glasses fogging up. I'm actually really excited about this.


Seppuku Squirrels:

Thanks for the play by play. Sounds like I could probably do it. I have a really hard time letting anything near my eyes and is one reason I gave up on contacts after a few weeks. I just couldn't spend an extra 1/2 hour each day to deal with putting them in. Sounds like I wouldn't have to worry about the panic issues of jerking my eyeballs around if the is no close machinery contact