Saturday, April 07, 2007

These shoes will one day need Bronzing

I'm very tired right now.

One of the things I learned in my absence from this Blog is that not everything is meant to be posted in it; this is both profound and mundane. I didn't post anything, ultimately, that I fell was inappropriate, but there's some shit I can't post in here, and when I'm distracted by that I can't post anything else, and days get skipped. (They get skipped for other reasons, too, but this is a problem.)

I have a very specific, and seemingly harmless example: Last May I was honored to preside over the occasion of my Mother and Step Dad renewing their wedding vows. This was on their anniversary last year. My participation was a surprise for my Mom. About the time my posting fell off I was planning this trip, and was, in fact, very excited about it. I couldn't post about it, obviously, 'cause, well, Mom occasionally peruses my Blog. (Though, if you look carefully, I made a small vague reference to it at one point.)

Is this the sole reason my blogging ground to a halt? Hell no, but it did, indeed, contribute.

The solution, I would think, is in a private journal. Part of the impetus for this endeavor is to write every day, or at least, on a regular schedule. When I come to an impasse, something bouncing around that I can't write about here, for whatever reason, I need to write it down elsewhere.

Writing needs to be part of who I am. Now.

It's vital for many things I do, I intend to do, and for my growth and progress in many areas, not the least of which my recovery.

There are a lot of changes happening in my life. These need to happen, they are necessary. They are also terrifying and painful. Sometimes very, very painful. I need to incorporate this process, this Bloggery, into the transformation. This is where the accountability is. So, baby step number two.

Friday, April 06, 2007

A small start.

So, it's been nearly a year. (Pirate Movie Trailers Notwithstanding) Many things have fallen by the wayside, many things aren't so great. Other things are back on track and better than they've been in years.

One of the things that has, obviously, fallen by the wayside is this Blog. While it would be ridiculous to try and infer that letting my blogging schedule derail led to the decline in these other areas, I think the daily practice, or at least the regular practice of it, was one of the things that helped me keep things on track.

There's a lot to sort through. It could be a bit overwhelming, but I've learned the only way to get through an overwhelming thing is to start small and let go of the results, especially the immediate ones.

So, here yeh go. Baby step number one.