These shoes will one day need Bronzing

I'm very tired right now.

One of the things I learned in my absence from this Blog is that not everything is meant to be posted in it; this is both profound and mundane. I didn't post anything, ultimately, that I fell was inappropriate, but there's some shit I can't post in here, and when I'm distracted by that I can't post anything else, and days get skipped. (They get skipped for other reasons, too, but this is a problem.)

I have a very specific, and seemingly harmless example: Last May I was honored to preside over the occasion of my Mother and Step Dad renewing their wedding vows. This was on their anniversary last year. My participation was a surprise for my Mom. About the time my posting fell off I was planning this trip, and was, in fact, very excited about it. I couldn't post about it, obviously, 'cause, well, Mom occasionally peruses my Blog. (Though, if you look carefully, I made a small vague reference to it at one point.)

Is this the sole reason my blogging ground to a halt? Hell no, but it did, indeed, contribute.

The solution, I would think, is in a private journal. Part of the impetus for this endeavor is to write every day, or at least, on a regular schedule. When I come to an impasse, something bouncing around that I can't write about here, for whatever reason, I need to write it down elsewhere.

Writing needs to be part of who I am. Now.

It's vital for many things I do, I intend to do, and for my growth and progress in many areas, not the least of which my recovery.

There are a lot of changes happening in my life. These need to happen, they are necessary. They are also terrifying and painful. Sometimes very, very painful. I need to incorporate this process, this Bloggery, into the transformation. This is where the accountability is. So, baby step number two.