I Don't Wanna Grow Up.

Here we go. That's the kind of dedication I expect to see.

I might just post an entry now and again if we have more of this sort of thing.

So, I'm told I need a "Niche." Something of interest to me that will be of interest to those out there.

Frankly, I'm not sure I care.

Is the delicate balance between Punk Rock and Geekery not enough? I don't fucking know. Maybe it's just right. Is it possible to have a midlife crisis if you refused to grow up in the first place? How do I reconcile my various interests into Bloggery without just spawning a incoherent mess? Is it even possible? Perhaps. In fact, I may be able to distill it right here and now. (Or maybe not, I guess we'll see.) Let's just free-form type some shit out and see what we come up with, huh?

Let's start at the top: Why would I Blog at all? Honestly, and as cheesy as this may sound, I want to grow. Perhaps if I attempted some focus and accountability in a Blog, it may help focus my day to day.

Great, but not only would that alone be boring as hell for anyone else, but I have a support network in real life. And I own a fucking journal. Obviously that alone would not only be cheesy, but lame. Also, it would bore me to fucking tears, as well.

Yet, there's something in there that is essential. Something about that quest forward that's necessary. In this Blogger Organism we are creating, we will call this the Spirit, the Soul, if you will..

(I say we; if there's anyone out there reading this, your input can help shape this Monster. Go find me a Fucking brain, Igor!)

So, that's the underlying Spirit, the quest for Spirit itself. Advancement as a Human. Striving to be Childlike rather than Childish.Keeping alive, as Heinlein put it, "That streak of Anarchy that is the political birthright of every American." Maintaining my Punk Rock Sensibilities while holding down a job. Growing up, without throwing out all of my Comic Books and Role Playing Games. Being a 36 year old man who can look out at the City of Los Angeles with both Child Like Wonder and Gratitude and the Jaded Cynicism of a Crusty Old Fuck who has lived here as long as I have and led the kind of life I've lived.

Cheerfully sarcastic, optimistic cynicism.

Boy, that sounds like a bunch of Horse Shit.

Oh, well, we'll roll with what we've got for now.

So, if all that happy Taoist shit is our Spirt, what about the Mind? This will likely be the meat of this Blog, should I actually ever post anything. <-Grin-> The Spirit and Mind are closely related, thus, not surprisingly, some of this was touched upon above. Mental Pursuits, Distractions, and Ponderings. Namely, Punk Rock, Comic Books, Role Playing Games and, of course, Computers and Gadgets.

Toys, bitch! Toys and Games!
(Wait, that sounds like Sex, shouldn't that be under "Body" instead of "Mind?")

Well, let's look at that, now. (Or, at least, use it as a cheap segue.) Blogging does seem primarily a Mental execise, so for our purposes, much of the focus will, indeed, be on those mental distractions we all love. So, what then of the "Body." Our Blog Organism certainly requires one. (Since I seem to want to beat this analogy to death anyway, we might as well finish it out.) The Body, as I see it, can be both the frame work the rest of the Blog lays upon, and those aspects of my life that directly effect the physical.

To whit: I have been exploring ways to increase productivity and organization, decrease clutter in my life and improve my diet, health and well-being. The desire for increased productivity is actually one of the things that led me to a Blog. Seems backward, perhaps, but it's more of an accountability thing. If I strive to check in with my goals here, perhaps I can keep myself to them. This is the framework I was referring to above.

These things are all tied in to my desire for a Career, rather than a Job. Some of you who know me may not be aware, but I'm a trained actor. I gave it up a few years ago, but I've come to find out it's not something one gives up. I don't talk about it at length because everyone in this town is an actor; it's, frankly, almost embarrassing. Little by little, however, I am back to pursuing this. I honestly don't think I have a choice, and that's neither a good thing or a bad thing.

And yes, I have a great job waiting tables.

These things, the tangible, the health issues, emotional, mental and physical, will serve as Our Bloganism's Body. I should, I suppose, while on the subject, mention that I used to drink. A lot. I also used to do many different drugs, some in great quantities. I no longer do so, and haven't for several years. I don't want this Blog to be about that, but it is a part of who I am, so I'm sure it''ll come up in places.

If anyone is experiencing a problem with these things, feel free to e-mail me and we can discuss it separately. You don't want everyone else hearing about that shit, anyway, probably.

Anyone who doesn't have a problem with the various substances: Party On, Dude. Just because I have a problem with Drugs and Alcohol doesn't mean others can't enjoy them. Again, I doubt I'll bring it up much from here on out.

This subject constitutes body, mainly, though it fits with Spirit, as well.

Of course, most of what I mentioned can be cross categorized. I have no intention of labeling everything on my Blog as "Mind, Body or Spirit" going forward, like some fucked up New Age Guru wannabe, it's just a tool to help me focus things, and hopefully, make the whole thing a more enjoyable read. Not much accountability can be achieved if no one's reading. I have both a journal and a pen if I wanna do that.

So, what does our creature look like? I guess it'll be the Adventures of a 36 year old Man in his pursuit of Punk Rock, Gaming and Comic Books and his Attempt to get his Collective Shit Together. Is that enough of a Niche? I'm sure Gratuitous Sex will work its way in there, too. (Shit, will Blogspot edit those boobs? Guess I'll find out.)

So, I guess there's nothing left but to flip the switch and bring this Monster to life. I guess I hit this button marked "Publish Post" ...